In recent weeks, Ray Rice has been a hot topic, and domestic violence has been an issue that’s been front and center on people’s minds, and personally I think the bias and outrage is a little bit one-sided.
And before you jump down my throat, hear me out, because I’m gong to address a few topics here.
Back in July, Stephen A Smith was suspended from his show for his point of view on the Ray Rice scenario, then later apologized because in his words, he failed to communicate his point well.
That is the context of the video – his apology.
And now that you have the context of this post, here is my point of view. Agree with it or don’t, that’s on you.
What Stephen A Smith said, is something I’ve always said, with exception to self defense, NOBODY, not a man, or a woman should ever put their hands on the opposite gender other through violence.
There is no double standard there, or there shouldn’t.
Women keep your hands of men, and men keep your hands of women; the part people seem to forget, or leave out, is that she [his wife] admitted to, and arrested for hitting him: this wasn’t a one way street.
Other than self defense, hitting is never right, and in addition to that, people are all wired differently so you don’t know how someone is going to react anyway.
Now… on the point of provocation.
Women, it’s not okay to deliberately push a man’s buttons trying to provoke him, for example (a real life example), it’s not okay to follow a man around no matter where he goes to walk away screaming at the top of your lungs, ‘hit me, hit me, I dare you to hit me,” and call him all kinds of horrible names like p***y and b***h and everything else trying to demean him.
I’ve witnessed women purposefully embarrassing their men in public, shaming them, cussing them out and trying to emasculate them. Understand that to a man, some things are just as bad or worse than a punch and will incite them to violence.
Think that’s not right? Let somebody talk about your mom or start dogging your kids. They don’t have to put their hands on them, just talk about them and you’re ready to go off.
Words have power and if you don’t think so, do a video search for “twitter beef” and see what happens. People will fight over words.
And some women will continue to push and push and push for a reaction with the intention of calling the cops to begin with. Like Stephen A Smith, I grew up with sisters too and I know first hand.
Everybody has a limit to their patience and being a woman does not make you exempt from the repercussions of deliberate provocation. There is such a thing as “too far.”
But this isn’t a one way street.
Men, the same goes for you. Don’t provoke a woman to hit you or call the cops on you. Leave her alone.
How a woman dresses, for example has absolutely NOTHING to do with how you react. There are some very good men that see a woman walk by and say nothing to her.
No cat calls, no whistles, no groping…
And then there are boys trying to act grown, who can’t see a woman walk by without showing off to the world how badly they were raised and that they have no self control.
Get over yourselves; you’re not God’s gifts to women. Learn some self control.
If she wants to walk down the street naked, take plenty of pictures and call the cops for indecent exposure. You get even and you have keepsakes… (yes that was sarcasm for those who can’t understand what they read).
Just as there are non-physical things to a man that will provoke violence that women need to be aware of, there are non-physical things to a woman that will also provoke violence.
It is each person’s responsibility to recognize the things that provoke violence in each other and stay away from those things, and don’t do them. Simple as that.
And if anyone has a problem with the idea of responsibility, pick up a book. There’s a difference holding someone accountable (responsibility), and being accountable for your own actions (responsibility).
The same word, different meanings.
Personal responsibility is not blame. It is about your ability to respond to a situation and the actions you take, whether it’s recognizing that you are being placed in a situation that can turn violent, or realizing that you are causing a situation that can turn violent, and ultimately the actions you decide take.
Understand this. Not everything that happens to you is someone else’s fault but your own. That applies to both men and women.
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